This is super relatable! I just discovered that my college boyfriend is married. I also recently discovered a journal entry where I listed all of the things I loved about him and why I wanted us to end up together. It's tough to admit I still have feelings for this person who has so clearly moved on without me, but it's true that along with keeping confessions about our current partner quiet, there is a societal standard to remove all feelings from previous partners by a certain point. I agree that bottling up romantic grievances from the past and present can leave one feeling more isolated and less motivated, and strongly vouch for the community approach.
Also love that third piece on improving ourselves lol fuck the Apple watch.
What an interesting point you bring up about the societal pressures to remove all feelings from a certain partner — very true, and also, such an unrealistic practice to expect people's deep feelings to just magically dissappear. Also, FUCK THE APPLE WATCH!
This was very thoughtfully written and something I hadn't thought about before, but absolutely relate to. I find I'm feeling this more acutely during shelter-in-place, as I can't leave my home to see friends and family and my S.O. is always within earshot of my calls and Zooms.
This also made me think about how at many traditional Christian/Western weddings, all the wedding guests are often asked to agree to support and watch over the couple as part of the ceremony. Interesting that so many people include this in their weddings yet don't actually lean on that support system when they need it.
Hadn't even thought about the commitments our community makes during a traditional wedding ceremony. Part of me wonders if our community feels like they are honoring their commitment by following a "don't ask, don't tell" approach, if only because there is an underlying assumption that that is the "normal" way to act. But, the good thing about norms is that they can be shifted :)
This is super relatable! I just discovered that my college boyfriend is married. I also recently discovered a journal entry where I listed all of the things I loved about him and why I wanted us to end up together. It's tough to admit I still have feelings for this person who has so clearly moved on without me, but it's true that along with keeping confessions about our current partner quiet, there is a societal standard to remove all feelings from previous partners by a certain point. I agree that bottling up romantic grievances from the past and present can leave one feeling more isolated and less motivated, and strongly vouch for the community approach.
Also love that third piece on improving ourselves lol fuck the Apple watch.
What an interesting point you bring up about the societal pressures to remove all feelings from a certain partner — very true, and also, such an unrealistic practice to expect people's deep feelings to just magically dissappear. Also, FUCK THE APPLE WATCH!
This was very thoughtfully written and something I hadn't thought about before, but absolutely relate to. I find I'm feeling this more acutely during shelter-in-place, as I can't leave my home to see friends and family and my S.O. is always within earshot of my calls and Zooms.
This also made me think about how at many traditional Christian/Western weddings, all the wedding guests are often asked to agree to support and watch over the couple as part of the ceremony. Interesting that so many people include this in their weddings yet don't actually lean on that support system when they need it.
Hadn't even thought about the commitments our community makes during a traditional wedding ceremony. Part of me wonders if our community feels like they are honoring their commitment by following a "don't ask, don't tell" approach, if only because there is an underlying assumption that that is the "normal" way to act. But, the good thing about norms is that they can be shifted :)
Well, this hit home! Our next sister call, I know what I want to talk about. <3
Can't wait!