Ah Meghan I just read the money article earlier this week -- such a good one, I'm really glad you shared. We must be on the same page this week because I also have been talking to loved ones about how I feel the pressure to keep up with friends, but also I feel it is something that is important to me. It's hard living across the globe from the most important people to me! but I know that sending a quick voice message is worth it! :) Thanks as always for a great newsletter read!
Thanks for sharing the article about money. It seems like in New York, we can never make enough and even if it is enough, we want more. In Nepal, the income is comparatively low (average $600-700 per month). I proposed the thought of some of my friends to come work in NYC (and make like 5x more) and most of them told me: “It’s not all about money. We like our life here.” It’s only until we know what is enough that we’ll have inner peace. I’m working on it!
This resonates so loudly with me! I’ve spent so much time really thinking about friendships, new, old, and the ones in-between. Why do some survive? How are some so resilient? When do I let go? When do I fight to hold-on? Recently my best friend and I had some friction. She lives in another state but we speak to each other just about every single day by text or phone call. (For the record, I don’t speak to anyone in my life as often as I speak to her). Well, sensing something might be wrong, I did what was hard (especially in a generally conflict-free friendship), and I told her that some of the recent exchanges hurt my feelings and asked if there was something bothering her, or something I needed to apologize for. With the sincerest love in the world she replied saying “thank you.” Thank you because she was going through a lot, under a ton of pressure, and felt herself being abrasive and impatient with the people she loved. She said she had recognized she was doing it but didn’t know how to bring it up or address the root cause of these triggered bites. My leap of faith in our friendship that allowed me to ask her what was going on AND, her trust in our friendship gave her the bravery to talk about it. That safe space we created to talk about what’s uncomfortable took two of us. In that moment, we got closer. My best friend in the entire world.. and we still find ourselves getting CLOSER to one-another when we find a little more space to be vulnerable and loving/loved. Now, a very similar scenario happened to me a few months prior.. a friend of mine had clearly pulled back, and wasn’t really engaging in our relationship. So I did the same. I asked her if everything was okay, that I had noticed the tension, and if there was something I had done that I need to apologize for. Her reply was less-loving, less-sincere: “we just grew apart.” So, when I wrote back asking if there is a way we could reconcile our differences.. I got silence. That silence closed off the same doors my other friendship opened. There wasn’t trust, vulnerability, or that same safe space to talk about what was really going on. Friendship isn’t one-sided. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t conflict-free. Some friendships are resilient and some are short-lived.. and that’s ok. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, as always! And thanks for being a safe place for my own self-reflection through hearing about your experiences. Xo
Ah Meghan I just read the money article earlier this week -- such a good one, I'm really glad you shared. We must be on the same page this week because I also have been talking to loved ones about how I feel the pressure to keep up with friends, but also I feel it is something that is important to me. It's hard living across the globe from the most important people to me! but I know that sending a quick voice message is worth it! :) Thanks as always for a great newsletter read!
Thanks for sharing the article about money. It seems like in New York, we can never make enough and even if it is enough, we want more. In Nepal, the income is comparatively low (average $600-700 per month). I proposed the thought of some of my friends to come work in NYC (and make like 5x more) and most of them told me: “It’s not all about money. We like our life here.” It’s only until we know what is enough that we’ll have inner peace. I’m working on it!
This resonates so loudly with me! I’ve spent so much time really thinking about friendships, new, old, and the ones in-between. Why do some survive? How are some so resilient? When do I let go? When do I fight to hold-on? Recently my best friend and I had some friction. She lives in another state but we speak to each other just about every single day by text or phone call. (For the record, I don’t speak to anyone in my life as often as I speak to her). Well, sensing something might be wrong, I did what was hard (especially in a generally conflict-free friendship), and I told her that some of the recent exchanges hurt my feelings and asked if there was something bothering her, or something I needed to apologize for. With the sincerest love in the world she replied saying “thank you.” Thank you because she was going through a lot, under a ton of pressure, and felt herself being abrasive and impatient with the people she loved. She said she had recognized she was doing it but didn’t know how to bring it up or address the root cause of these triggered bites. My leap of faith in our friendship that allowed me to ask her what was going on AND, her trust in our friendship gave her the bravery to talk about it. That safe space we created to talk about what’s uncomfortable took two of us. In that moment, we got closer. My best friend in the entire world.. and we still find ourselves getting CLOSER to one-another when we find a little more space to be vulnerable and loving/loved. Now, a very similar scenario happened to me a few months prior.. a friend of mine had clearly pulled back, and wasn’t really engaging in our relationship. So I did the same. I asked her if everything was okay, that I had noticed the tension, and if there was something I had done that I need to apologize for. Her reply was less-loving, less-sincere: “we just grew apart.” So, when I wrote back asking if there is a way we could reconcile our differences.. I got silence. That silence closed off the same doors my other friendship opened. There wasn’t trust, vulnerability, or that same safe space to talk about what was really going on. Friendship isn’t one-sided. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t conflict-free. Some friendships are resilient and some are short-lived.. and that’s ok. Thanks for sharing your wisdom, as always! And thanks for being a safe place for my own self-reflection through hearing about your experiences. Xo