There's an added layer to friend making as an adult during a time of housing crisis and income inequality - a lot of the friends I make move away. I also live in one of the most expensive cities in the US and I can count on one hand the friends who have stayed in the city for over a year and almost all of them are in well-paying jobs, white, and delaying or not having kids.
It's difficult to make friends at first (yes, putting yourself out there, joining hobby groups alone - those can be emotionally laborious), but it becomes more draining when you need to keep at it every season or so. I think Covid sped up this process too, with more couples leaving to the suburbs to have their Covid babies and newly-unemployed folks moving back in with their parents to get back on their feet. I share your love of meeting people and that New Friendship Energy, but during these times of change it feels like slogging back up a mountain. Thank you for this article and the reflections they caused <3
Thanks for writing this post. Your reflections on making friends as an adult is really uplifting. I like how instead of the “this is how you make friends as an adult” kind of trope you wrote it as “this is how I made friends” perspective. For me, I find it much harder to make friends as an adult, for a variety of reasons. But it is refreshing to read about someone else’s perspective.
Can't tell you how much your first piece hit home. I, too, feel like I'm living in a new season of friend-making. This season is particularly idiomatic because this time I am genuinely proud of (if not in love with) the person I am today. Therefore, the connections I'm making with these new humans are deeper and truer to the kind of relationships my adult self wants and needs. These relationships feel different because I am different.
All of this to say, I'm so glad our paths have crossed when they did. Timing truly is everything. Can't wait to join your book club of fiercely brilliant ladies next month and to cultivate this new friendship further <3
There's an added layer to friend making as an adult during a time of housing crisis and income inequality - a lot of the friends I make move away. I also live in one of the most expensive cities in the US and I can count on one hand the friends who have stayed in the city for over a year and almost all of them are in well-paying jobs, white, and delaying or not having kids.
It's difficult to make friends at first (yes, putting yourself out there, joining hobby groups alone - those can be emotionally laborious), but it becomes more draining when you need to keep at it every season or so. I think Covid sped up this process too, with more couples leaving to the suburbs to have their Covid babies and newly-unemployed folks moving back in with their parents to get back on their feet. I share your love of meeting people and that New Friendship Energy, but during these times of change it feels like slogging back up a mountain. Thank you for this article and the reflections they caused <3
Thanks for writing this post. Your reflections on making friends as an adult is really uplifting. I like how instead of the “this is how you make friends as an adult” kind of trope you wrote it as “this is how I made friends” perspective. For me, I find it much harder to make friends as an adult, for a variety of reasons. But it is refreshing to read about someone else’s perspective.
OMG I am crying.
Can't tell you how much your first piece hit home. I, too, feel like I'm living in a new season of friend-making. This season is particularly idiomatic because this time I am genuinely proud of (if not in love with) the person I am today. Therefore, the connections I'm making with these new humans are deeper and truer to the kind of relationships my adult self wants and needs. These relationships feel different because I am different.
All of this to say, I'm so glad our paths have crossed when they did. Timing truly is everything. Can't wait to join your book club of fiercely brilliant ladies next month and to cultivate this new friendship further <3