16 Comments
Nov 5, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

The world of higher education is daunting when it comes to pay. When I graduate with my masters in the subject I’m projected to make in the low 30s. For an industry that requires masters for most staff positions and all faculty positions to have a PhD the pay is disproportionate for the time consuming, rigorous, and expensive training processes.

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founding

That's wild to hear honestly - I think I kind of knew there was disconnect from schooling needed (and that cost) to future salary but that's so disproportionate. I would love to see a P&L for higher education to understand more on where salaries, tution, etc. all fall.

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author

Such a good point. I wonder what the fix is in academia — do you think it's lowering the price of schools (which feels like a pipe dream to ask of these money making institutions), increasing government aid for student funding, or raising the entry-level wage of jobs that require a secondary degree? And if it's the ladder, how would that increase work? I feel like there have to be proposed solutions floating around out there, but I'm not ingrained in that world enough to know them and I'd love your POV.

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Nov 5, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

Being able to eliminate your fear of the unknown is one of the many keys to success!

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author

Amen!

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Nov 5, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

I would one million percent not want to know my death date. Because the anxiety of trying to get the most out of every moment would kill me a little more each day anyway.

And I wouldn't want to have everything stay as it is now either. Even though I'm a cautious person and things are stable for me right now, I always have more goals for every aspect of my life. Staying in this place would not be bad, but it would be giving up on continual growth. And that is very important to me.

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author

Couldn't agree more on both fronts. If I knew the date of my death, my life would be wasted worrying, and if I felt stuck in life exactly as it is now, I would feel half dead with the drudgery of monotony. Trying to hang on to the perspective that the unknown is neccessary for forward movement, even when it feels like a very bad stomach ache for an entire year :)

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Nov 10, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

I would absolutely not like to know when I was going to die. The notion isn't even the slightest bit temping...but, the idea of preserving my life exactly as it is...that is a different story. Nothing makes time fly by quite like having kids in my experience, and sometimes it breaks my heart to know that they will never be this little again. Still, the idea of not watching them grow up is too much for me. So, yeah, time is a tricky thing, and now I'm crying.

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author

And your comment made me cry?! Time is trickiy, but it's good to know (or at least, to beleive) that there is so much good ahead!

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Nov 9, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

Q: Would you find out the exact date of your death if you could?

A: No! Because then every moment is just leading up to that point (imminent death). You can't allow for true spontaneity, as you are constantly forcing fun and racing the clock. I guess it's different if you knew you only had one day left to live...then fine, go balls to the wall and do as much as you can in 24 hours!

Q: Would you preserve the exact state of your life, if you could?

A: Also no! I recognize that my privilege allows me to say this, but in this body, and based on who I am in this life, no. It's from the dark times that you're able to find yourself in a new light. Even though I am constantly fighting for control and to have my future be safe/secure, I wouldn't want to give up the beauty of the unknown. Even though it is tempting...

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author

It IS tempting! But I wholeheartedly agree. If I knew I would stay exactly as I am now, what would be the point? Even knowing there is pain on the horizon at various points in life for all of us, it's worth it to know that, as you say, from those pains will come a brighter end point.

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Nov 6, 2020Liked by Meghan Palmer

I would not find out the day of my death I'd rather be surprised

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founding

The question on knowing your death is so interesting to think on! I wouldn't want to know personally - I think you'd stress about the date too much and it would always just not feel like enough time.

On an opposite note, one of the best Netflix thing I watched was about living forever, and how if we lived forever would we ever have the motivation to do anything? Like if there's no beginning, middle, and end of life, then it's just all sort of the same and why do anything? That knowing death is imminent creates a shared experience that drives us.

Final other thought on all this, I read a post once about how we only see memories behind us (obviously) but what if we could see future memories...like if you could know that a certain weekend, or vacation, was going to be one of the best times of your life. Would it ruin other moments, would you get to be excited about things to come, or would you feel bad knowing you've had already had one of your greatest moments if that's the case? I think about this one a lot - personally, I definitely like thinking that moments just as good or better are still to come but I think a lot about when I'm old what will stand out as some of my most cherished times and I know some of those have already happened.

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author

So many thoughts here... one, what was the thing you watched on Netflix called? Sounds fascinating, I want to watch!

Your note about what it might be like to foresee your best memories. or to know whether some of the best ones are behind you, got my mind spinning. It's funny because whenever the "best" times are happening, you really never know at the moment, but I think that is precisely what makes them so great. The unexpected delight in the nights when you had no idea what a fun time you would have. If I knew, I wonder whether I would be able to be as present in those moments.

Also, such a weird thing to think about how some of life's most cherished memories may very well be behind each of us. This is going to sound morbid, but I had a moment the other day where everything around me was so beautiful, and I was thinking about all the beautiful places I've seen and everything I've experienced, and I thoought, "if I died right now, I could at least say I lived a full life while I was on Earth." It was such a peaceful feeling, and it made me appreciate the fact that I still get to be alive for an Iostensibly long) period of time.

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The question you posed prompting us to choose (or not) our life right now frozen in time, stopped me in my tracks. Honestly, I began taking stock of every perceived positive and negative. The thoughts and fears and possibilities about my current life and the projections of my future life, become so clear in that hypothetical scenario. It really puts under a microscope even the things that I “half-like” about my life.

“Being an adult requires a certain suspension of disbelief. We must believe things will get better, that we will get better, that we are moving towards an improved state that is only possible when there is a level of uncertainty at play.”

The “Unknown” is really just about hope. And while perhaps fear and hope are just either sides of a coin, they both seem to be the driving factors behind everything we do. In any case, your scenario was a very sobering exercise in surrendering to the unknown.

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You put into words exactly what I was thinking as I wrote this, and even more so reading it afterwards: hope is the thing that drives us more than anything else, even more than fear, I think.

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