Edition #178: What I Did And Didn't Spend Money On This Year
It ain't a gift guide, babe. Plus, some necessary Wicked content and two toddlers chatting.
Back in 2011, my brother-in-law made me my first Excel budget spreadsheet. It was a manual workbook, simple but perfectly functional and, unbeknownst to me at the time, habit-forming. I’ve maintained a version of the spreadsheet since then; over a decade of manually typing out each transaction on my card into a digital workbook.
Back when I was in college working multiple jobs, and then again when I got my first salaried job making very little money, and then again when I started making real money, the spreadsheet helped me to understand what I could ostensibly afford and what I could not. I wanted to pay off my college debt before I turned 26, the spreadsheet made that achievable. I wanted to start traveling, the spreadsheet made that feel possible. I wanted to become a freelancer, the spreadsheet made that a thousand times easier. It also worked as a coping mechanism over the years. A budget spreadsheet gives the comptroller—in this case, me—the illusion of control. It's more of a well-yielded tool than a magic wand, but it’s still something.
I’ve spent many an afternoon cozying up in hotel lobbies and apartment living rooms teaching various friends how to use the budget spreadsheet. We both knew they would never actually maintain it. I don’t blame them; it is manual and tedious and time-consuming. There is absolutely an easier way to do this, probably an app or something. Lucky for me, I do not subscribe to the modern-day gospel of sweeping optimization as a virtue. Something about rolling up your sleeves and getting in there feels more right.
My budget sheet is broken out by fixed bills and everything else—I call this “lifestyle spend”—is divided into categories (groceries, transportation, shopping, wellness/self-care, entertainment/eating out, and miscellaneous). I estimate what I want my total lifestyle spend to be for the month, then divide that amount up amongst my categories. Once or twice a month, I’ll pull up my credit card statement and input all of my transactions into the spreadsheet, by category, with the merchant name, the date, the amount, and a brief description of the charge. I never really want to do the manual inputting, but I always feel better once I do it.
As a result, I have an intimate understanding of my spending habits. I know what I value, what I’ll never balk at spending money on and where I naturally pause. I never hesitate when buying groceries or nice jewelry—a future family heirloom, I whisper to myself—but when I was living in New York, I would put my body and spirit through the nine circles of MTA hell before remembering I could just call an Uber. I’m not a constant gift giver, but if you are getting a gift from me it’s going to be a good one, not something chosen merely to stay within a designated price range. I’ll spend money on shoes, but it has historically been harder for me to drop real money on workout clothes. I cannot explain any of these reasonings; they are what they are.
Here’s what I’ve spent money on and what I haven't for the past 11 months. Keep in mind it's been a weird, off-kilter year for my lifestyle, traveling around the world and being without a fixed home until late October.
What I Spent Money On:
Facial laser treatments. I got my first CO2 non-ablative laser treatment in South Africa. It was far more expensive than I expected, around $850, and it hurt so bad, but my skin looked glowy and beautiful after turning beet red and flaking off. I got a second, more casual face laser in New York before moving. It was only $100, but that’s because I knew the owner of the studio. I get insane freckles and my lifestyle/tropical locale means sun damage is somewhat inevitable despite loading up on sunscreen and taking these supplements daily. I see more laser treatments in my future.
A high-end safari in South Africa. Travel writers are offered free trips somewhat often. I rarely accept these invitations, as I do not like feeling obligated to try to cover something I may or may not enjoy. I also prefer making my own decisions about how and where to travel, such as my first safari at Nottens Bush Camp. I did a ton of research to choose the best place for me and it delivered. The camp is located in a private game reserve in one of the best wildlife viewing parks in South Africa. We got upgraded to a beautiful, two-room suite and the meals were over the top—three-course breakfasts, dinner served by a campfire, gin and tonics on evening game drives, sipped while gazing up at the Milky Way. I saw lions, lion cubs, leopards, leopards mating, cheetahs, cheetah hunts, elephants, rhinos, buffalo, elephants, hyenas, hippos, the list goes on. We were the youngest people there who weren't traveling with parents, which made me feel oddly proud.
A tax accountant. The aforementioned budgeting habit means I am proficient at accounting, so I did my own taxes for the first two years of being a freelancer. It was horrible and anxiety-inducing, despite always having more than enough money put aside to pay my heaping tax bill (shoutout to the spreadsheet). I finally bit the bullet and hired an amazing tax accountant, referred by a writer friend of mine, who specializes in working with freelance creatives. A worthy investment I should have made sooner.
Too many world coffees. Spending late summer/early fall in New York was hectic. I didn’t get to cook at home as much as I like to because of all the moving around, so as a coping mechanism, I bought world coffees almost every morning (Note: a world coffee is a coffee you must go out into the world to obtain).
Getting rid of stuff responsibly. My carbon footprint was reduced by around 80% this year in terms of the amount of *stuff* I own. Getting rid of said stuff responsibly, especially in New York, requires money, time, and patience. While doing my fourth or fifth donation drop-off to Housing Works in SoHo, I accidentally donated a box of $1k worth of contacts—a year’s supply, for which I maxed out my meager annual vision benefits. The contacts were gone by the time I realized I donated them. I shipped two big boxes of clothes and shoes down to my nieces in Florida and another box to my mother. I paid to have all of the kitchen stuff picked up by a cool, Brooklyn-based recirculation service, and I spent an undisclosed sum Ubering back and forth from my storage unit to make all of this happen. It was hell, but now I am unencumbered (and far more discerning about the stuff I accumulate).
A gorilla trekking dream come true. I couldn’t visit Africa this year without living out my childhood dream of seeing the wild mountain gorillas in their natural habitat. This trip requires a guide—navigating Uganda's windy, unpaved roads, getting a special permit to trek through the rainforest with local rangers, impossible logistics galore. Doing it solo, as I initially planned, would’ve cost me around $3,500 for 4 days. In the end, I fell into a group trip—my first time traveling with a group, a surprisingly wonderful experience I'll write about in a later edition—and I got to spend 11 days exploring Uganda for around the same price. It was the most money I've ever spent on a trip and was hands down the best trip of my life.
Proper workout clothes. I’ve always been into working out, yet I have never, ever bought nice workout clothes. After buying some crappy items from Aerie and watching them disintegrate before my eyes, I realized it was time to make more sustainable choices. Plus, my new home is a very active, warm place where workout outfits are an everyday staple. I got a set from Set, a few things from Free People, a very cute bodysuit from Skims, and a bunch of pretty stuff from Beyond Yoga, this sports bra being my favorite.
A bunch of Amazon shit. The year I broke my own rule; I logged in (to my sister's Amazon account, thank you for sharing) and unleashed the beast. The problem with Amazon is the effortless buying pattern it enables. I have purchased so, so much stuff on there this year. Some of it is useful—a silk eye mask, chest wrinkle patches for sleep, my daily probiotic—but some of it is just plain dumb. I plan to kick the habit again in 2025.
A nice camera. This was a dual Christmas gift to myself/investment in myself. I bought a decent Canon starter camera with a tripod and microphone (on Amazon, whoops). One of my goals in 2025 is to learn basic camera work so I can capture life and interview interesting people during my travels, so I'm excited to play with this.
Books. Always, so many books. My carry-on is perpetually filled with books, for I cannot walk out of any decent bookstore without spending $50. I’m currently savoring this poetry collection, my mind is being broken by this difficult, albeit incredible text, and I’m loving starting each day with a little tidbit from this book.
A new set of washable silk PJs. I bought a long pants set years ago, it is so chic. Now I have this set and it’s incredibly airy and light, perfect for my fellow hot sleepers.
Nice jewelry. I told you so. I got a beautiful, chunky ring from a Spanish designer in Mexico City, earrings I never take off that look more expensive than they are, a dainty necklace I won’t be taking off, and a pair of beautiful, dainty earrings. I’ve been eyeing a sweet art-deco diamond ring for a minute now, but perhaps that will be my next birthday present to myself.
Lots and lots of flights. I use the Chase Sapphire Reserve (formerly Amex Platinum, the Chase card is better). While I do get points on all my flights, I’m wondering if I should attempt loyalty to an airline next year to get more benefits. This year, I went from New York to Costa Rica, Costa Rica to Mexico City, Mexico City to Atlanta, Atlanta to San Miguel de Allende, San Miguel de Allende to New York, New York to Cape Town via Kenya, Cape Town to Uganda, Uganda to New York via Doha, New York to Florida and back, New York to Seattle and back, New York to Atlanta to Costa Rica to Florida to Costa Rica. And I've never been upgraded!
What I Didn’t Spend Money On
Getting my nails done. I was never super religious about it, but this year I decided I hated the look of colored nails on my hands. I do not have naturally nice nails, so I decided to make that my project. Cuticle oil, a file, and an under-nail cleaning tool have done the trick, though my nails have started breaking again since my move. I remain committed; beautiful natural nails are a chic flex.
Anything discovered via targeted Instagram ads. The perks of being off social media are abundant.
Rent in South Africa. I didn’t not spend money on rent there, but I did spend less than I have paid in rent for the last ten years. I got a simple studio in a cool, central neighborhood in Cape Town for around $700/month.
Rent in the States. In retrospect, this was a silly, half-baked idea. I didn’t want to commit to subleasing in New York when I knew I was moving out of the country, but as a result, my summer months were spent in utter chaos. I apartment-sat for friends, dog and cat-sat for strangers, watered various plants, and cried a lot. Still, some interesting stories and interactions came out of it.
Tampons. If you get a period and haven’t switched over to one of these yet, run don’t walk. As earth-shattering as hiring a tax accountant.
Gym memberships/group fitness classes. I hurt my wrist earlier this year, which put me out of commission for yoga, surfing, and any other weight-bearing exercise. I started running again in Africa since my wrist was in a brace, which flared up an old knee injury I never properly treated. The body is precarious! Now I am mostly healed and settled into a beautiful routine; I have a pack of classes for yoga, pilates, and strength and conditioning. I feel so lucky to be able to work out again.
Christmas gifts and flights. I’m not coming home for Christmas this year. The thought depresses me. As a soft rebellion, I'm foregoing gift-giving. I hate the idea of gifts coming without me being there to witness them being opened, especially during a time of year when kids black out from the sheer number of presents they receive. Also, I didn’t have time to get thoughtful gifts before Thanksgiving. There's always next year!
Cheers, my dears, and as always, thanks for reading. I returned home after a wonderful Thanksgiving and, wow, returning to a real home of my own after all this ambiguous time feels like a small miracle. I've jumped right back into life this week—grocery shopping, unpacking, attending a birthday party, and surfing for the first time since March. I am so weak I felt like I was going to drown, but it’ll get easier. This weekend, I plan to surf, attend a community conservation meeting, and start practicing my Spanish flashcards. Have a wonderful weekend! Write down your dream, read on the couch, and bake some focaccia.
Perhaps You Should…Go See Wicked
I’d see it again if I could. I’ll be anxiously awaiting the revived rendition of this song—which I’ve listened to about 50 times this week—until next November. While we’re on the subject, this is absolutely bonkers, and this made me smile.
**Bonus Content** (You Can’t Marry Your Sister)
So wholesome, so sweet, so accurate!
A Quote From A Book You Should Read:
“I began to experience the most powerful advantage of money: the ability to think of things besides money.”
-Educated by Tara Westover
I loved this post - we have similar methods and I enjoyed getting your insight into various categories. I will now be dreaming of Nottens!!