Edition #24: The Power of Being "Regular"
Plus, a Nancy Meyers Kitchen won't change your life. the nannies of New York on their jobs during COVID-19, and a cool spirits project to support.
A note from the editor
A majority of my friends are, for the most part, like me: employed, college educated, politically engaged enough to have opinions, but not quite enough to take action. When I started making campaign calls for Elizabeth Warren last fall, it was hardly an altruistic act of heroism. Truthfully, I dreaded the prospect of talking to strangers (or anyone) on the phone, but for the first time in my life I felt strongly enough about a candidate that I wanted to do something. If only she could get elected, I thought, people’s lives would drastically improve. More Americans would have a fair shot at success, less would go to bed hungry.
Some of the calls were great, others were awful. One man in Iowa called me a "dumb bitch," another thanked me for "getting out there and doing the work." I considered why it took me 27 years to politically engage in a meaningful way (outside of simply voting and complaining about Trump to people who agreed with me), and I came to the conclusion that it all felt too daunting, like I couldn't affect any real change without committing my life to public service, so why bother? That is the first half of our justification for inaction.
Around that time, I brought the topic up at dinner with a friend, asking whether she'd been feeling the same pull to "do more" as I had. "I have to take care of my stuff first, you know? I need to get my own life figured out before I can change the world," was her response. And yes, I do know, and that is the second half of our justification for inaction. Paired with the first, people like me and my friends (and maybe you?) have found seemingly reasonable justification for sitting back and waiting for elected officials to make the big changes, even if they're changes we feel strongly about, and even if they're taking too long.
When I read this piece about mutual aid in times of a pandemic, it felt like a cold bucket of water being poured over my head, the invigorating wake-up call I didn't know I needed. Mutual-aid networks are a natural response during times like these when regular people step up and fill the holes left by our slow-moving government. In essence, it's the neighborly spirit depicted in every old school Americana scene in pop culture, but it's not simply volunteering for community service sake-- it's addressing real needs of real people in our communities when the government isn't doing enough. In turn, the pressure is put on elected officials to step up, and the regular people who decided to act are the ones shaping the solutions, demonstrating how simple and swift change can be.
I wanted Warren to get elected because I believed she could improve conditions for so many Americans, but what I failed to realize is that I can improve those conditions at a hyper-local level, too. After all, won't the best solutions come from the people living in the problems day in and day out, the people who aren't worried about making a political misstep or pissing a donor off in the process?
Maybe we've been going about this all wrong. Maybe it's the inherent performative activist social media encourages, or maybe it's just that we're tired and we've never known where to start, but our country was intended to be governed of the people, by the people, for the people. The much debated Second Amendment, for example, protects the right to bear arms in order to form a "well-regulated militia"-- as in, so regular people can join forces to defend themselves against the government, if necessary. I'm not suggesting anyone form a militia, but I am suggesting that, simply by being a regular American, we yield more power than we give ourselves credit for, and maybe it's time to start acting like it.
Cheers my dears, and as always, I'd love to hear your thoughts about mutual-aid networks. Drop me a line in the comments, and let’s discuss.
Three Pieces of Content Worth Consuming
A Nancy Meyers Kitchen Won't Change Your Life. When the internet blew up last week over a photo of a fancy kitchen with not one but two islands, I had to Google search to discover who Nancy Meyers, owner of said kitchen, was (a Hollywood screenwriter responsible for the likes of "The Parent Trap"). While I'm still unsure of why it matters so much, I found this piece worth a read for a refreshing dose of perspective on how easy it is to get caught up in the assumption that having nice things or a pretty home equals a happy, fulfilled life.
Meet Cuomo's Right Hand Woman. Behind every powerful man is a smart, capable woman, propping him up and doing the real grunt work. Meet Melissa DeRosa, the top aide to Governor Andrew "Daddy" Cuomo, COVID-19's press darling mayor. It's no surprise that Melissa comes from a well connected political family, but that doesn't negate the fact that she's the first woman to hold her current position, is up at 3:45 am every morning and allegedly makes more money than her boss.
New York Nannies Spill the COVID-19 Tea. l spent year during (and right after) college being a nanny, first in my college town, and later in East Hampton during a summer internship. I've ridden on private planes and stayed in hotels that cost four figures per night-- all as "the help"-- so this account of NYC based nannies working during the pandemic gave mo so many feelings (and a bit of collateral anxiety).
Perhaps You Should...
Raise a Glass to Support Local Restaurants
Support your favorite local restaurants while enjoying a delicious at-home cocktail via The Restaurant Project from the indie spirit makers at Haus. How it works: Haus partnered up with several restaurants around the country to create signature aperitif flavors reflecting each restaurant, and 100% of the profits from every bottle purchased go directly to the restaurant-- you can even nominate a restaurant to be included in the project. I tried Haus for the first time earlier this year at a Superbowl party, and the complex, natural flavors found in this low ABV drink are as delicious as the bottle is beautiful.
Bonus Content (Cue Somber Piano Music)
I laughed out loud after watching ten seconds of this video, a sampling of every COVID-19 commercial spliced together, demonstrating that they are quite literally all the same. I suppose there is only a small group of pandemic-appropriate messaging approved by the comms people at these giant corporations, but watching this reminded me that businesses this size aren't mean to be authentic or personal.
A Quote From a Book You Should Read:
"You free. Nothing and nobody is obliged to save you but you. Seed your own land. You young and a woman and there's serious limitation in both, but you a person too."
-Home by Toni Morrison
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”