Edition #23: What Was Your Favorite Part About Today?
Plus, a new way to work out. the Swiss Embassy has a few quarantine suggestions for you, and the Karen x Anne Frank controversy.
A note from the editor
There was a point sometime in early 2018 when I developed a habit (either annoying or endearing, depending on who you ask) of asking "what was your favorite part about today?" I was going through a difficult time, and the question allowed me to get out of my own head for a few moments and into a more positive mental space.
In an Uber ride during that time, I decided to strike up a conversation with the driver. "What was your favorite part about today?" I asked. We were stopped at a red light, and he turned around with a toothy smile that lit up his entire face. "I cooked my wife dinner," he said, "and she told me it was wonderful."
It sounded pretty ordinary to me, but then I got the rest of the story. He grew up in Haiti, and his mother and sister cooked all of his meals — chicken and cashew nuts, cornmeal with beans, pickled vegetables. When he got married, his wife assumed the responsibility of feeding her new husband, and eventually, their new son. Food was assumed; always well prepared, steaming, and ready at mealtimes. In truth, he said, he'd never given it much thought.
Eventually, the man and his wife decided to move to America, where their son would have greater opportunities and better education. The man left first, saying a sorrowful goodbye to his family, who would be waiting in Haiti until he had enough money to send for them. He moved in with some relatives in New Jersey and began looking for work. Those months were a blur; he desperately missed his wife and son, he drove until he was bleary-eyed, making the trip from Newark airport to Manhattan and back at all hours of the day and night, often carrying passengers (like me) who were headed off to spend time with their families. The one similarity in his life was being fed, as the female relatives he lived with cooked his meals, and he found comfort in this small familiarity.
Then one day, he realized he would soon have enough money to send for his wife and son. He began planning a welcome party for their arrival, and that's when he decided to do something to make the day extra special. "To make my wife feel like the queen she is," he told me. He asked the women he was living with to teach him to cook; a man who had never so much as boiled a pot of water thanks to the embedded cultural norms he grew up with. He practiced his skills, learning to chop and sautè, getting acclimated to the proper spices, burning dish after dish until he eventually got the hang of it. The day of the party, he served his wife a three-course meal he'd made, the first one he'd ever prepared in full. He said it was the happiest day of his life.
I'll never forget that story, and recalling it makes me feel an immense sense of joy. Inspired by this piece, I've begun to cultivate a mental list of memories that trigger joy, ones that can be accessed at any time without even leaving the house.
Cheers my dears, and I'd love to hear about your joy triggers.
Hate Working Out? You Should Try This. VR seems to be one of those things that people "know" about, but don't really understand, à la "but what the point?" This fascinating piece makes a case for VR as a workaround for those who have had issues forming regular exercise habits, whether it be from boredom, discomfort with their body or a distaste for the traditional gym setting. The tech allows you to disconnect in a way otherwise impossible; it isn't you watching a skinny girls do squats and following along, it's you, squatting on a surfboard in the middle of a lake, trying to dodge the rocks flying at your head. After watching this video, I'm seriously considering buying myself a VR headset.
Going to the Movies During a Pandemic. Whether we think it's too soon or not soon enough, states around the country are re-opening, many with arbitrary capacity rules and loose operating procedures. This account of a recently opened movie theatre in Texas paints a picture of what "normal life" may begin to look like, and I can't help but compare these lackadaisical measures to those in places like China, who approach reopening with a scientific precision (i.e. temperature checks) that most Americans often view as an encumbrance on personal freedom. If a 71-year-old man can go to the movies without getting his temperature checked, we're in for a long, messy ride.
"Karen" Meme, Anne Frank and the Internet. It all started with a Tweet likening Anne Frank to a "Becky", a term used to describe a young, privileged white woman — a younger version of "Karen". I enjoyed this thought-provoking inspection of our obsession with classifying people on an invisible privilege hierarchy, and how these rigid classifications are an over-simplified way of trying to understand our complex societal makeup. One of my favorite lines from the article
”The magical thinking according to which, if hatred can be framed as a punch up, the punch loses its sting"
Perhaps You Should...
Try Yodeling Out Your Window?
Mending a sock or perhaps creating a paper model of a landmark, just a few of the quarantine-appropriate activities found on a list created by the Swiss Embassy. Reading this wholesome list was fun, and it inspired me to create a list of my own, which is particularity useful for those days when you find yourself sliding from the couch to the floor, whining aloud to no one in particular, "I'm sooooo borrrred." No? Just me?
**Bonus Content** (And My Childhood Dream)
As a kid, I used to search for treasure everywhere-- the park, my backyard, my bedroom closet-- but I mostly came up empty handed. When I learned about this real life treasure hunt, the kid in me squealed with excitement (the adult in me realized I can't leave my house without a mask, let alone go looking for items strangers touched). But when this is all over, you can get I'll be getting in on this strange little game.
A Quote From a Book You Should Read
"Unlike the boys she dated in college, who were simply taller, heavier versions of the ones she dated in high school, Dev was the first always to pay for things, and hold doors open, and reach across a table in a restaurant to kiss her hand."
-Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”