Edition #17: Who Will You Be After This?
Plus, what happens when men have no friends., a peek inside NYC's quarantine grocery carts, and a service to send mail sans stamps
A note from the editor
Yesterday, I heard a question that made me stop when I was doing (stretching) to run over to my notebook and scribble it down. I found myself thinking about it all day, and I'm thinking about it still: who will you be after this? When considering the answer, I first had to think about who I was being before this, and how I was choosing to spend my free time.
In my quest to explore the topic further, I reached out to my loved ones to ask about their favorite part of our new normal. I got a range of answers, from a newfound love of cooking to being in closer touch with old friends to the complete absence of FOMO; from playing the stock market to finally getting around to teaching a virtual yoga class to an underserved community to feeling like a more authentic person in the total absence of distractions and social pressures.
I marveled at these answers, at how such an intense situation could bring forth so much creativity and revival, and I marveled at the lessons we're learning about ourselves through all of this, whether we realize it or not. People often ask the rhetorical question, "what would you do if money wasn't an option?" Now, we're in the reality of "what would you do if you had all the time in the world?" As the days continue to pass and we settle in to this new normal, our moments of joy are leaving an important trail of breadcrumbs to follow when this is all over.
Consider the question: who will you be after this? When you're back in the office, back on the grind, back to happy hours and errands and obligations, how will you re-calibrate to accommodate the lessons you've learned during this time? How will you view the world, how will you treat people, how will you arrange your schedule to make space for the activities that used to feel frivolous, but now feel vital?
Cheers my dears, and i’d love to hear, in detail, what you want your life to look like “after”— and moreover, how interesting it is to think in a month from now, that picture could be entirely different.
Three Pieces of Content Worth Consuming
The Disturbing Story of a Zoo Massacre. You've likely already heard about (or watched) Tiger King, but the story I found even more wild is the tale of the real life Jumanji that was the Zanesville Zoo Massacre. It goes a little something like this: a man in Ohio owns an exotic animal farm full of Bengal tigers, lions, wolves, monkeys, etc. Man ends his own life, but not before letting the animals loose from their cages and surrounding his own body with raw chicken. A crazy, heartbreaking story worth a read.
Inside the Quarantine Grocery Carts of NYC. Looking into other people’s grocery carts at the food store is one of my favorite past times, so I was naturally drawn to this beautiful photo essay exploring what New Yorkers are buying to prepare a foreseeable future at home. Toilet paper, snacks, diapers, frozen pizza, flowers, produce-- some are stocking up, others are non-plussed. Fun parlor game for your next Zoom call: what has been your most irrational quarantine food purchase? Mine was 60 frozen dumplings.
What Happens When Men Have No Friends? No matter what way you spin it, women tend to carry the emotional burden in heterosexual relationships. It starts when boys feel like they can only show emotion ("weakness") to their mothers, and later, to their partners, who end up becoming a lover, a best friend, an only friend, and a therapist. But to get to a future where toxic masculinity becomes a thing of the past, we need a solution to the cycle-- and that's where men's groups come in to play, a place where men can explore collective vulnerability and form emotional bonds that don't involve the women in their life.
Perhaps You Should...
Send a For-No-Reason Card, San Stamps
I don't know anyone who doesn't love getting mail, but the process of physically mailing it can be daunting (i.e., two addressed and sealed letters currently live in my nightstand). This service makes it super easy to send sweet, personalized greeting cards without a trip to the post office (for around $4 a pop). While I love a handwritten note, I'll definitely be giving this method a try.
(100% Relatable) **Bonus Content**
Last week I ordered fried chicken from my favorite neighborhood spot and anxiously awaited its arrival. When it never showed up, I threw what I could only call a quarantine-induced-hunger-tantrum, and when I saw this hilarious video of a little girls' reaction to learning about recent restaurant closures, I felt seen.
A Quote From a Book You Should Read
"Somehow, despite her politics and smarts, she had become a wife, and wives, as we all know, are invisible. The midnight elves of marriage.”
-Fates and Furies by Laura Groff
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”