Edition #13: A Random Thursday in 2034
Plus, why you're a bad listener, a new law that makes abuse survivors pay, and an Oscar-nominated short film worth watching
A Note from the Editor
I think about the future in the same half baked ways most people do: financial stability, a loving partner, a bolstering, fulfilling career, good health. Though there are a few specifics in these scenarios (owning a well-decorated NYC apartment that is larger than a toaster, for example), the particulars are more broad strokes, large and sweeping ideas about how I expect and hope things will turn out for me.
When I found a document titled "a random Thursday in 2034" in my Google Docs I was entirely surprised, as I'd completely forgotten about the fascinating exercise I did last year. The idea is to describe a random weekday 15 years from now, from the time you wake up to the time you retire to bed. It's a juxtaposition to the "where do you see yourself in XYZ years?" prompt, because on a random weekend in the future you're likely not winning some big award or getting married; you're simply having breakfast and going to work, maybe taking a workout class or picking up your kids from school.
As I read my future day written out, I couldn't help but laugh. The strain I felt to assert my independence in the imagined domesticity was blatant-- even my fictitious children knew not to enter my study until 6:35 am after I'd spent an hour writing in the quiet. Placing yourself into a very common, everyday scene 15 years from now is eye-opening in a way that those loaded questions about the future are not. After writing about my future day, I made it a point to write about my current one as a reminder that one day I'll look back on this time and idolize it, the same way we tend to idolize the years to come. This exercise was inspired by this lovely article (skip to the section about a random Thursday in 2034).
Cheers my dears. Do tell— what would your random Thursday in the future look like?
Three Piece of Content Worth Consuming
You're Probably a Bad Listener, Here's Why. One of my goals this year was to become a better listener. I made the decisions when I caught myself using filler phrases like "that's so nice" and "totally" to show I was listening when, in fact, I was not. There's a name for this: closeness communication bias, and it says that we tune people out the people we're closest to because we assume we know what they're going to say. This unintentional tune out can lead to "I feel like I don't even know you anymore" because as we continue to not listen, we know our speaker less and less.
The Reappearing Mystery Men of Tinder. I've been off the dating apps for a while now, but I still remember the profiles of men who would continually show up on my feed even after I swiped "no'. I assumed this was a bug, but it turns out these men knew exactly what they were doing and have (unfortunately) become something of legends. The piece is worth reading if only for Alex, the 27-year-old who poses near his granite countertop in various outfits, deletes and re-installs his Tinder account on a weekly basis and proudly dubs himself a "self-proclaimed narcissist". More on that here.
A Law That Makes Abuse Survivors Pay. If you're one of the many people who find politics too macro to be digestible, consider this story: a Louisiana woman files a restraining order against her abusive partner, but misses her court date because she can't get time off from her job as a janitor. When she tries to change her court date, the court tacks on another hefty fine she can't afford to pay, and in the end, her restraining order is revoked and she may even be sent to jail for failing to appear in court-- all because she was trying to protect herself. Situations like these start with local laws, in local courts.
Perhaps You Should...
Watch This Oscar-Nominated Short Film
About a couple who gets obsessed with watching their new neighbors through the window. After I confessed my voyeuristic tendency of neighbor watching in last weeks' newsletter, a reader (and friend) sent me this powerful film, and it packs a serious punch in 20 minutes. In conclusion, spying on your neighbors in NYC is an oftentimes unavoidable rite of passage--binoculars optional.
**Bonus Content** (To Turn You Into a Lyricist)
Sometimes you just need to spend 10 minutes doing something on the internet that means absolutely nothing, a restorative massage for your cerebral cortex. This random lyrics generator uses AI to come up with lyrics on any topic in a variety of genres. I made an EDM song about a toothache and a country song about a summer picnic.
A Quote From a Book You Should Read:
"It's like something he assumed was just a painted backdrop all his life revealed itself to be real: foreign cities are real, and the famous artworks, and the underground railway systems, and the remnants of the Berlin Wall. That's money, the substance that makes the world real. There's something so corrupt and sexy about it."
-Normal People by Sally Rooney
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”