Edition #11: Challenging The "Assumed Future Bride" Mentality
Plus, why we can't stop procrastinating, the man who wants humans to go extinct, and the joy of finding furniture on the street ,
A Note from the Editor
"As a future, non-obsessive bride," I overheard someone say the other day while describing herself to a room full of people, a preamble to a point she was about to make. Her listeners almost immediately craned their necks to get a look at the ring finger of her left hand, which was bare. "Oh, I'm not at all engaged," she clarified. "I'm just using myself as an example."
I jotted down a question in my notebook after I heard the interaction: would a non-engaged man ever describe himself to a room full of people as a "future husband"? I'd venture to say that a majority of men and women probably assume they'll be married at some point in their lives, but I don't know that a man would confidently identify himself as a "future husband" to a room full of strangers. It's cause and effect: men aren't given permission to be verbal about their sentimental side, and in turn, they get to assume several other roles in life outside of husband. But for women, wife is always a part of our identity, even when it's not.
When we talk about things like gender equality, toxic masculinity and how to begin the seemingly impossible tasks of balancing the scales, it's the assumed future bride characterization that we should pay close attention to; the language and actions that are so subtle that we don't stop and consider their implications. Because how can we change the things we don't even notice?
Cheers my dears. I’d love to know— what do you think about the assumed future bride mentality? Is that sort of language regressive? Not a big deal?
Three Piece of Content Worth Consuming
Why Can't We Stop Procrastinating? It isn't lost on me that I share this article as I scramble to finish my newsletter at 5:30 am. Simply muttering the words "I'm such a procrastinator" fills me with a sticky sense of self loathing, and herein lies the reason we all do it, We don't procrastinate because we're lazy, instead we use it as a coping mechanism to deal with negative emotions. Putting off the task gives us a temporary high that makes us feel that much worse when we're eventually forced to complete the it-- but don't worry, there are a few solutions to break our bad habits.
It's Like Book Club, But for Instagram. Because you deserve a laugh today-- appropriate question to ask during your Instagram Club meeting can include "who do you think is prettier, me or Helen? Why?" This article made me cackle out loud, and I have personally (and unintentionally) participated in an Instagram Club-esque activity once or twice. It makes me think of the Eleanor Roosevelt quote "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people". Shout out to Instagram for making our minds smaller!
The Man Who Wants Humans to Go Extinct. When Les Knight decided that he thought the best thing for the planet was voluntary human extinction, he didn't get a lot of traction-- but that was fifty years ago. Today, the climate is literally (and figuratively) different, and the idea that maybe we should all just let the human race die out for the sake of the planet is picking up steam. This is the stuff that Fox News anchors' dreams are made of, and I'd love to hear a spirited debate about the subject.
Perhaps You Should...
Follow This Stooping NYC Instagram Account
A well-maintained account of all the beautiful furniture New Yorker's abandon on the streets. I know what you're thinking: what about the bed bugs? That was my initial reaction, too, but after seeing the sweetest little desk and a pink couch I want to live on, I'm starting to warm up to the idea of picking up furniture from the street. Sustainability and creativity at its finest.
(The Worlds Happiest) **Bonus Content**
Think of the best possible way to start your day at work, and then multiply that by a thousand and you get this. If you haven't watched Cheer yet, do so immediately, and then send this article to your HR person as a suggestion for your next team building/company party/morale booster. Jerry is magic, and I'm seriously considering turning this soundbite into my morning alarm clock.
A Quote From a Book You Should Read:
"One who has loved truly, can never lose entirely. Love is whimsical and temperamental, it comes when it pleases and goes away without warning. Accept it and enjoy it while it remains, but spend no time worrying about its departure. Worry will never bring it back."
-Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”