Edition #8: In Japan, Coffee Takes Time
Plus, love can be silly, the woman challenging Mitch McConnell, and writing your future self a letter
A Note from the Editor
It's been three weeks since I last sent this newsletter, two of which were spent parading around Japan and the third was a result of overestimating my ability to readjust to a 14 hour time difference. The necessary break gave me ample time to mentally prepare for the year ahead, but I'm glad to be back in your inbox every Thursday from today onward (unless otherwise noted).
There are so many things I loved about Japan: the immaculate streets of Tokyo, the unabashed nudity of women from every age group as they spent several Smartphone-free hours lounging around the onsens, the inexplicable sense of homecoming I felt in a completely foreign place, and the slow-moving daily ritual of morning coffee. On one of our first days in Tokyo, I ordered two drip coffees and waited by the counter to retrieve them. The barista glanced up at me and giggled;
"You sit down, it takes time," she said.
Gradually, I grew used to this. Even in the faster-paced cities like Tokyo and Osaka, our morning coffee took at least 6 minutes to prepare. When the steaming cup finally arrived, it felt special; I knew the beans were thoughtfully sourced, freshly ground and carefully poured over, not sloshed from a luke-warm carafe and into a mug without a second thought. I didn't miss those extra six minutes, I savored them; the anticipation made the coffee taste better. This intentional slow down is just one of the many borrowed Japanese customs that I plan to incorporate into my own daily caffeine ritual.
Cheers my dears, and happy belated New Year. I'd love to hear about how you take your coffee, customs you’ve learned during travels that have followed you home, or about your vision for the year ahead.
What's the Real Relationship Killer? Ask the question "what makes a good partner?" and your respondent will most likely list a handful of positive traits; kind, passionate, smart, funny. But what if it isn't the positive traits that keep you interested in your partner? A fascinating inspection on how we respond to negativity in relationships, and what our reaction to our partners' flaws says about the potential longevity of a relationship. One rather poignant (or depressing?) take away from the piece:
“Successful marriages are defined not by improvement, but by avoiding decline.”
Love Can Be Silly, and You Deserve a Laugh. I'm not what most would consider a traditional romantic by nature, and I always get a kick out of the dramatic proclamations made in poorly directed rom-coms and preposterous Nicholas Sparks novels. The notion of loving everything about someone is hilariously unrealistic, and I hope this makes you laugh as hard as I did.
Who's Challenging Mitch McConnell? Whether you're new to politics or a long time political junkie, this race will be one to watch in 2020. Amy McGrath, the Democratic hopeful running against Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell in Kentucky, wrote a letter to her state senator as a young girl saying that she wanted to fly fighter jets in combat and that women should be able to do that. Her senator never wrote her back... and now she's vying for his seat. This will be the Ted Cruz/Beto race of 2020, and I will most certainly be donating to her campaign.
Perhaps You Should...
Write a Letter To Your Future Self
I've done this for a few years now and am continually amazed by the power of the simple exercise. How it works: at the start of the year, write yourself a letter. There are no rules, but I generally review where I am in life at the time of writing and what I plan to get out of the year ahead. Stash the letter away somewhere and revisit is on New Year's Day the following year. Extra points for writing your letter by hand, but if you're not the pen and paper sort you can create a digital version.
**Bonus Content**
Are you a peppy, perpetually positive, preferably good looking single woman over the age of 20? If so, this billionaire wants to take you to the moon. I'm not at all surprised that Elon Musk is involved in this, and the premise of this dating show sounds like a Twilight Zone version of The Bachelor. My burning question: the space flight isn't until 2023, so does the winning woman have to hang out with this man for the next three years?
A Quote From A Book You Should Read:
"She rested her head against his and felt, for the first time, what she would often feel with him: a self-affection. He made her like herself."
-Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
This newsletter is best served with a side of conversation, so drop your opinions, reflections, and thoughts in the comments below and let’s get to talking.
Or, share the most thought-provoking piece from today’s edition with someone you love, then call them up to discuss, debate, and percolate. As a wise woman once said, “Great minds discuss ideas.”